shitispuffinup:

Me when I get in bed: ooooh I’m a warm little bich!!!

eggzaki:

g2g = got 2 grow (as a human bean)

thebootydiaries:

friend: i’ll pick you up at 5

clock: 5:01

me: wHeRE teh fuKc

thebootydiaries:

me: i love this band

someone 30-40 years older than me: they’ve been around for awhile you just getting into them?

me: why didn’t you prevent vietnam?

danmangan:

things that are enjoyable:

• showers

things that are not enjoyable:

• getting in the shower
• getting out of the shower

frenums:

actionables:

assassinregrets:

melaninjaclan:

no one looks dumber than a guy who calls a girl ugly after he was just hitting on her

a guy who calls a girl a whore for not sleeping with him is a strong contender

they’re the same guy

charmingcatastrophe:

nonbinaryfrancisabernathy:

avoidantproblems:

over-explaining everything because you’re scared of not making sense or people thinking you’re stupid

the thrilling sequel: under-explaining everything because you’re afraid of being seen as a rambling mess

the stunning conclusion: wildly varying between both based off the most recent way you’ve fucked up 

xekstrin:

booboo the fool (self diagnosed)